Sexual Privilege Checklist

An Asexual, Demisexual, Grey-Asexual Community Project

0 notes

harpsiccord asked: In and of itself, as a document that "is what it is", this blog is very lovely. What I want to do (not here and not asking/telling you to do, mind) is use the checklist and work towards solutions. It looks like most of our work will be to educate people, which is always difficult to do without coming across as accusatory and without "preaching to the choir". Any good places aside from AVEN where folks gather to draw up friendly solution plans?

Why not start right here? A lot of discussion about asexuality happens on Tumblr.

There are also asexual communities on LiveJournal and Dreamwidth.

More generally, there is a lot of “beyond asexuality 101” discourse in the blogosphere. I suggest that you volunteer to host a round of Carnival of Aces, and prompt for discussion on this topic. It is a good way to reach out to bloggers.

If you are looking for a forum, the most active one that I know of is Apositive. The only other “beyond AVEN” asexuality forum I know of that is still around is Knights of the Shaded Triangle, but there hasn’t been much activity lately.

- Mousy

0 notes

unbrokencircle asked: I wrote a long post about the specific nature of the pathologization of asexuality within the DSM here: http://unbrokencircle.tumblr.com/post/6410400878/the-pathologization-of-asexuality-evidence-for-its

0 notes

Anonymous asked: "My sexual orientation is not considered a disease in the DSM."

Homosexuality was removed from the DSM in the 1980s, and asexuality isn't listed. However, it does list "Hypoactive sexual desire disorder" which is a lack of sexual desire, but it must cause distress to the individual experiencing it in order to be considered a "disorder."

I do think, though, that asexuality should be recognized as an orientation. Asexuality, like all other orientations, is enduring and resistant to change and deserves to be recognized.

Yes, however homosexuality is no longer in the DSM and though asexuality itself isn’t something very much like it IS. So like it, that if the Doctor decided that you being distressed because you’re asexual, your partner is asexual and it’s causing problems t hen he might well slap a disorder on you. There isn’t much in the way of guidlines about how to keep the two as distinct things.

- Neth

12 notes

Ableism and Asexuality…. a note

So the idea that asexuality and disability are often held so closely together by people either in the ‘all asexuals are disabled’ variety or the ‘everyone with disabilities is asexual’ mode has been brought up a few times.

It’s a good point, and it’s an issue for both asexuals and those with disabilities - especially for those with both.

But, none of us mods here know much about ableism, we’re not as familiar with it as we are with queer related issues and so we decided it’d be a good idea to ask the mods on STFU Ableism what they though about how to word it without it being offensive or excluding anybody. This is the response of a mod there:

My best advice on talking about the stereotype that something is “wrong” with asexuals is to take it from a perspective that says, “Yes, some asexuals are PWDs or neuroatypical, but asexuality is not a sign of a disability. It’s like claiming…” something ridiculous, like some redheads asexual so all redheads are asexual. Stress the fact that asexuality is just another possibility for what someone can be that’s unrelated to other factors about that person.

And so in the future I’d ask that all discussions around this point keep this in mind and the final wording will likely be something very much like that. I rather like the redhead example as I’m fond of red hair but others might have another idea.

And if we can all try and keep in mind the terms PWDs (People With Disabilities) and neuroatypical and avoid using the word ‘normal’ in reference to those who are neurotypical and don’t have disabilities. It’s probably new to a lot of us but as those seem to be the correct terms we’d ask that you use them just as you’d expect people use the correct terms to describe asexuality and romantic attraction if you asked.

Thanks everyone!

- Neth

Filed under asexual asexuality ableism

0 notes

scar-lip asked: I reblogged, but wanted to make sure you saw. Here's my suggestion for the "inclusion in communities" bullet: http://nimself.tumblr.com/post/6188134201/all-bullet-points-with-some-sorting-and-commentary

"If I am attracted to the same sex and/or non-binary genders, my inclusion in the LGBQ community is not questioned."

0 notes

Anonymous asked: I think it's a question of intersectionality. Is it still sexual privilege if not having straight privilege essentially negates it? In that case, look at all the people who lack the negating privilege. In non-straight spaces, are queer sexuals privileged over queer asexuals (which, for argument's sake, we'll call asexuals without passing privilege, since passing privilege complicates the issue)? If yes, then sexual privilege exists, even if in other spaces it is often negated by a lack of straight privilege. (Obviously a lack of straight privilege is not the only thing that could negate sexual privilege; also a lack of cis privilege, white privilege, male privilege, abled privilege, etc.)

-- Aydan

0 notes

Anonymous asked: I'm still not totally sold on the idea that sexual privilege is something that exists (and I say this as a male-bodied asexual who has taken a decent deal of garbage from people due to the fact that sexuality is seen as a necessary component of masculinity), but if there is such a thing as sexual privilege...

it's knowing without much concerted effort on your part that other people have your orientation or at least know that your orientation exists

it's knowing that attraction "just happens" and never needing the words to describe what that feels like

Even if these are the only unique problems the asexual community experiences as a whole (and I don't think they are), I do think that these are unique to us and shouldn't be taken lightly. One of the biggest struggles that asexual people I have talked to need to go through is figuring out that the orientation exists in the first place. Beyond that, I dont know an asexual that hasn't struggled with the definition and the words to describe under what circumstances they experience what sort of attraction.

Heterosexual privilege may be a bigger deal than sexual privilege (if we want to play the Oppression Olympics), and it's possible that sexual privilege does not exist to the extent which it's a terribly useful concept to have, but there are struggles that are uniquely asexual and which you aren't disqualified from simply by being heteroromantic, and so far as I can tell, these are two of the bigger ones.

Mod Note: Just so people know, you can submit these things through the ‘submit’ button also, if you want people to reblog and reply to it.

1 note

adireadire asked: Re: illness and asexuality - I have often wondered if my lack of sexual attraction is a further symptom/effect of the various hormonal problems I had at 13. My thyroid went from working to malfunctioning to not responding to medications to removed in about 18 months.

So maybe a checklist entry - "I don't assume my sexual attraction was affected by early illnesses and wonder if it will change in the future."

Thanks so much for contributing, and for sharing such personal information! Seriously appreciated.

This is one where I really doubt, but am honestly not sure, if queer sexuals might have similar experiences. (I think illness is specifically different from abuse of any kind, from hormones in utero, from social experiences, so on.) Anyone have a counterclaim?

Regardless, definitely an asexual-umbrella experience worth recording.

-epochryphal

1 note

eccoecho asked: I have NO idea what this 'sexuality privilege' business is. I wanted to identify as asexual 3 years ago when I realized there was a word for what I was, got scared out of it and wasn't ready to come out, and have just decided a few days ago that I'm ready now. I don't know a lot of the language around what I'm identifying with, and I wondered if you could explain what 'Sexual Privilege' means.
- plithith.tumblr.com

Basically, it’s where sexuals have access to things, or don’t have to worry about things etc that doesn’t apply to asexuals.

 It doesn’t mean we’re claiming that there’s laws against us or we have it as bad as other groups under the queer umbrella. Though some of us will due to their romantic orientation due to heterosesxism, some will because of their gender identitiy due to cisexism and others because they’re intersex because of… I’m not sure of the word. Dyadism? It’s just that there’s… issues. And they’re real issues.

For example, sexuals can usually see themselves represented on TV. There are real problems with this concerning queer sexuals and none of us are denying it, but there’s more that two self identified queer sexuals on TV world wide. 

Sexuals can (usually) easily hear about their sexuality in modern culture and know it exists without too much trouble. Asexuals can’t, not usually.

There is a fair bit of overlap with heterosexual privilege (similar thing, but with heterosexuals rather than sexuals in general having the privilege) and that’s something we’re still talking about. How to represent this and so on.

It isn’t as clear cut issue as some might, and do, think.

- Neth

I agree with Neth, although I would add that not all sexual forms of sexuality are easy to learn exist (pansexual comes to mind), and of course access widely varies based on intersections like class, geographic location, etc. But then, non-binary genders are also not really in US culture, certainly not so named.

Again, see the excellent pioneer:  The Sexual Privilege Post. Now on our Resources page!

-epochryphal

0 notes

findingsherlock-deactivated2012 asked: I recently did a post about privilege as a response to the stuff going on in the asexual community. I'm not sure how useful this would be for you, but you can view it here: http://findingsherlock.tumblr.com/post/6143742121/tinkering-with-my-privileged-identity

I'm hoping that by showing that there are many layers to identity, and many different rating systems of what is privileged and what isn't that privileging is just something that we need to talk about, not assume. And we need to learn to investigate our own privileged identities while also thinking about our non-privileged identities in a less me vs. you dynamic.

IF you want to add or critique my analysis of privilege I'd love to hear your thoughts and if you can't use it at all, I'm totally ok with that too. Hope this helps!

This is actually really interesting, and I think you’re right. We are, all of us, more than one thing. We have race, class, education, religion, sexuality, gender, disability, nationality… and how these things play out with their privileges differ depending on where you are, what you’re talking about and so on. Not having some privileges will be of greater impact than others.

So I think it’s interesting, though did leave off religion.

- Neth